How to be gracefully disliked

Hello there, 

I hope you are well.

Can you be disliked and still be a good person?

This is the question I quietly contemplated while ironically sitting in church as a guest at a friends wedding over the weekend.

My husband and I had just encountered a couple we no longer speak to hence the seemingly out of context question.

Like many of you, I have always strived to be a good person. I also believe in the good of other people and am known for giving others the benefit of the doubt. But whether we like to accept it or not, no matter how hard we want and wish to like and be liked by everyone, it is simply impossible.

Values clash, principles don't align, opinions collide, expectations are left unmet, trust errodes, and there is no seeing eye to eye. Investing any time or energy is obviously a waste of time.

Where does one go when the road is clearly a dead end?

Here are 3 things that work for me-

1. Energetically cut the chord- this can also act as a powerful visualisation method. When you cut the chord, you liberate yourself and the other party from the dynamic. No anger, no hate, just cutting off. We can all exist in the world but we don't have to exist in one another's orbit.

2. Take the emotion out of the interaction- if you have to deal with someone you dislike in a work environment, give yourself permission to dislike them but take the emotion out of any interaction. Focus on the facts and the project at hand.

3. Refuse to gossip or think about them- don't let them take up any space or energy in your mind or life. As Michelle Obama famously said, "when they go low, we go high". Go high, rise above, and be bigger than the low frequency.

In the end, I realised you can dislike someone and still be the best version of yourself. 

I would love your thoughts on this.

Warmest wishes

Carlii